It's Not the Ring

Gearing up for Valentine’s Day, jewelry stores spend millions of dollars convincing women that if their man really loves them, he’ll buy them a big honkin’ diamond ring. I wonder how many men watch those commercials and feel guilty if they haven’t yet come up with the giant rock.

I’ll confess, I almost fell into that trap, but only for a moment. I remember watching a commercial where a man surprised his wife with an anniversary ring and shouted to the crowd around them, “I LOVE THIS WOMAN!” And the woman rapturously replied in a breathless whisper, “I love this man. I love this man.”

I looked at my husband in his usual position—sprawled out on the couch, sound asleep by 8:00 p.m., and thought, Hey, wake up! You could learn a thing or two here!

Thankfully, the moment that thought went through my mind I looked at my wedding ring—a simple golden band with three diamond chips and no accompanying engagement ring—and recognized that after nearly 30 years, it’s holding up fine, and so is our marriage.

It’s not the ring that says I love you.

Love is going out to start the car for me before I leave on cold winter mornings. It’s saving the last cup of coffee for me. It’s hanging around the house a little while longer before he leaves for work, just to see what’s on my mind. It’s the way he makes me smile every day. Love is knowing that he prays for me and wants good things for me.

A few grand gestures could never replace the daily commitment required for love that lasts a lifetime. John 15:13 says, “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” Jesus showed His love by sacrificing His life for us.

My husband regularly makes sacrifices for our family. That’s why I can say, “I love this man.”

Let not your heart be troubled

I’m feeling a little stressed today, and I know I don’t need to be feeling this way; my heavenly Father can take care of what needs taking care of, but sometimes those feelings of anxiety can sneak up on a person.

I felt the tightness in my chest and the queasiness in my stomach and said, “Oh, Father, don’t let my heart be anxious.” But that’s not how it goes, is it?

As I think of Bible verses dealing with anxiety, I see that I’m the one required to give my stresses to God; He’s not required to come and snatch them away from me. Look at these examples (emphases mine):

John 14:17b; Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

Philippians 4:6; Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;

1 Peter 5:7; Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Psalm 55:22; Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.

Did you notice the common thread of these verses? It’s not God’s job to keep my heart from being anxious. He tells me (us) to do that. We are required to do something. God will help us through, but He’s looking for that step of faith on our part—that giving up of our control and placing our trust in Him.

So I’m going to lay aside my plans and schemes for getting through this difficult time. Instead, I’m going to spend some quiet time with my Father, trust in Him with all my heart and not lean on my own understanding. I’ll acknowledge Him in all my ways, and He will make my paths straight (from Proverbs 3:5-6).

I feel better already.

True Satisfaction

How’s your attitude? Do you feel better when the sun shines? When the temperature rises? When you have money? When everything’s going your way?

What makes you happy? What makes your life worthwhile?

I’ve been perusing Paul’s letter to the Philippians, and his resounding tone of hope, joy, and love is amazing. Keeping in mind that this was a man in prison, separated from people he loved, facing the prospect of execution, one could understand if he were angry, frustrated, and depressed, but he wasn’t! We can learn a lot from the apostle Paul about keeping a positive attitude regardless of our circumstances.

The apostle Paul said knowing Christ, rejoicing in Christ, living for Christ, and preaching Christ made his life worthwhile. In other words, Paul focused on things eternal—on Jesus, the everlasting God, and not on his circumstances. He was more concerned about fulfilling God’s call on his life than living comfortably and securely. His greatest hope was spending eternity in the presence of the Lord. And all this brought him inner joy and true contentment—not what was happening around him.

In order for life to be meaningful and satisfying, we need to focus on that which is permanent. Nothing but a life lived for Christ has any true value, and we’ll always be searching for that “something” that’s going to fulfill us until we discover our worth and purpose in Him.

Are You Hungry?

Is prayer and Bible study like exercise to you? You know what I mean: you know you should do it because it’s good for you, and you always feel so much better after you’ve done it, but it’s still something you have to make yourself do – a discipline.

What would happen if we approached our quiet times the same way we approach meal times?

We would be thinking of our next “meal.” We would know (have a plan for) when we were having our next “meal.” We would search for good “food.” We might be guilty of “eating” more often than others realize. Sometimes we might stuff ourselves on “food,” (but we would never feel miserable afterwards!). And we would certainly share our “food” with others as an act of love and friendship. Don’t we want to be overflowing and plumped out with God’s Word and the Holy Spirit?

“Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation” (1 Peter 2:2). Have you ever thought about the difference between being hungry and craving something? When you crave something you have to have it or “you’ll just DIE!!!” That’s how we’re to approach feeding ourselves on the Word of God. Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty” (John 6:35).

Too many Christians buy into Satan’s deceptive lies: “Quiet times are boring.” “I don’t have time.” “I don’t know how to pray.” “I don’t understand the Bible.” “Blah, blah, blah.” The enemy knows very well that if we aren’t fed, we will DIE. And that’s exactly what he wants. But Jesus said, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled” (Matthew 5:6).

Let’s approach every day eager to satisfy our hunger in the Lord.

Alive in Christ

Galatians 2:20; I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Dying to self is a concept the Lord brings me back to again and again. I’ve thought a lot about what it means, questioning how one dies to self in this lifetime. I have several ideas from the Bible; I’m still working on the practical application!

One of those ideas has to do with humility, admitting our neediness. Human nature—especially in our culture, I think—tends toward self-reliance. To say, “I need you, Lord,” is to admit weakness. If “when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:10) means our strength is in God and we’re not willing to admit or acknowledge any weakness, then we’re not giving Him the chance to be strong in us. Obviously, we can’t grow strong in the Lord as long as we insist on holding onto and operating in our own strength.

I know I need to depend on the Lord’s guidance and help for everything, yet it’s amazing how often I set out to do things in my own strength, I struggle or have problems, and then I say, “Oh! I know! I should pray about this!”

“Self” is a stubborn, obstinate beast that clings tenaciously to us, fighting to stay alive; but the truth is that until we put self to death and make Jesus the Lord of every area of our lives, we’ll never fully know what it means to be “alive in Him.”

Invest in Eternity

There’s a book I love called Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. It’s a true story about a retired sociology professor dying from ALS (aka Lou Gehrig’s disease), and his former student (Mitch Albom) visits him every Tuesday for lessons, not on dying but on living. Among the many wonderful aphorisms Morrie spouts is “Everybody knows they are going to die, but nobody believes it. . . . If we did, we would do things differently.” His point is that when we come to grips with our mortality, it changes our priorities and our attitudes.

Perhaps we could carry Morrie’s idea further to say that if we truly believe in eternity, it would profoundly affect our attitudes about this life.

We get awfully attached to this world and this life, don’t we? We “know” that this life and everything in it is temporal, but we act as if it will all last forever; we cling desperately to that which we can never hold onto. If we “believed” that everything here is impermanent—yes, even those relationships we hold so dear—we would hold them a bit more loosely and be far more “eternity minded,” making decisions about how we will invest our time and resources based on eternal values rather than worldly ones.

I rather like the following modern version of Matthew 6:19-21 from The Message: "Don't hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or—worse!—stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it's safe from moth and rust and burglars. It's obvious, isn't it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being.”

Since heaven is our true home, let’s invest more in it than in this one.

Closer in 2009

There are those we tend to think of as “very spiritual” or “so close to God”—the ones who seem to have a direct connection to God. You know the type I’m talking about; they’re grounded, mature, filled with wisdom, always able to give sound advice, and they talk to God like a close friend. Have you ever wondered how they came to be that way? Have you ever wished you could be that way? Does God have favorites with whom he chooses to develop a closer relationship?

I know people like the ones I’ve just described, and I’ve figured out their secret. I’ll share the secret with you, but you must promise not to tell where you got this information, OK?

These people are consistently spending quality time with God. They’re filling their minds with His Word—reading the Bible, listening to Christian radio, TV, teaching tapes, etc.; they’re in church and small-group studies; they’re in fellowship with Him through prayer, worship, and friendship with other Christians. They are seekers of God. They’ve made knowing Him their number-one priority in life.

So you see, there is no “secret.” The fact is each of us is exactly as close to God as we choose to be. God shows no partiality (Acts 10:34); He wants an intimate relationship with all His children. If you’ve wished for that closeness you see others have with Him, you can have it . . . if you’re willing to invest the time.

It’s that time of year again: lots of us will be making New Year’s resolutions. My first resolution will be to know God better in 2009 than I did in 2008. How about you?

But from there you will seek the LORD your God,
and you will find Him if you seek Him
with all your heart and with all your soul (Deut. 4:29).